1. The Red Wedding. All of It.
If you saw the Red Wedding, the cringe-worthiness of it requires no explanation. It was a bloodbath worthy of its title and, if a most uncomfortable moment must be picked, you have to go with stabbing a pregnant women to death IN THE STOMACH. Yes, it’s disturbing to look at the parade of sister wives and think about them getting plowed by Argus Filch (you may now forever associate Harry Potter with a GoT bloodbath; you’re welcome), the fact remains, the death of Robb Stark’s wife was gnarlier than an “Oz” rape and shank.
If you disagree, you can make your case in the comments but that’s where it’s going to stand for now.
2. Jamie Rapes His Sister In Front Of Their Son’s Corpse
The argument is that GoT spent a whole season making people like the Kingslayer only to have him return to King’s Landing and go right back to trying to sleep with his sister again (though she wasn’t having any of it).
Cut to Joffrey’s funeral, where Cersei is just losing her sh*t over their son’s (their baby boy’s!) death and implores her twin brother/baby daddy to kill their other brother for his (alleged) hand in the boy’s death. Thing is, Jamie’s not down to do some killin’ until Cersei’s down to get down. Next to their son’s body. With or without consent. So yeah, Jamie gets his rapey/incesty/necrophiliac urges out in one foul (intentional) swoop.
3. Theon Loses His Most Prized Possession
Theon Greyjoy, who- let’s admit- hasn’t had the easiest life, just got the sh*t end of the stick in Season 3. He betrays the family that raised him, thinks he’s emerged victorious in the battle for Westeros, and then falls victim to another betrayal at the hands of his own men.
What’s next? Oh, just a playful little torture sesh.
It’s brutal watching him get fingers and other parts cut off, but there’s a special kind of evil involved when you bring in a couple of ladies for the old slap and tickle knowing the express purpose of the interaction is to get Theon’s junk alert enough to cut off. As if that’s not a big enough dick move (see what we did there?), Ramsey, his captor/tormentor, waits for Theon to wake up and then eats a giant sausage in front of him.
4. Lysa Tully Breastfeeding
Despite her kid looking old enough to audition for “Glee,” Lysa Tully – sister to our own Lady Stark – continues to feed him her own special brand whenever he’s feeling a bit peckish. (They also sort of have an attitude about it when pressed, like it’s the most normal thing you ever did see.) This creepy duo would benefit from an Oprah intervention, or at least their own reality show – “16 and Breastfeeding.”
5. Ramsey and Sansa’s Wedding Night
It seems that Sansa is trying to collect all the different religious wedding ceremonies in Westeros. After a beautiful (and seemingly cold) marriage in the Godswood, Ramsey takes Sansa to their marriage bed. He prepares her for the immanent deflowering in a way that all women prefer, by ripping off her clothes and forcing her pretty much step-brother, Theon, to watch.
6. When Joffrey Shows Off Sansa’s Father’s Severed Head
Is anything more uncomfortable than when your fiance brings up the subject of kids, in front of one of his thug bodyguards? Well, maybe when he surprises you with your fathers head on a stick. Though Sansa and Joffrey’s tentative romance started off rather promisingly, with a stolen glance here and a nervous titter there, it devolved pretty quickly into outright wolf-centric violence and frustration.
Following his coronation as king, just after having a guy’s tongue cut out because he sang a funny song at a tavern, Joffrey moves along to his next order of business – completely horrifying his bride-to-be by showing off her executed father’s severed head. (Oh, also, he tells her “As soon as you’ve had your blood, I’ll put a son in you.” What a charmer, right ladies?)
7. When Eddard Stark Is Actually Executed
When Eddard Stark is taken before the executioner, every bone in the viewers body screams that there will be an amazing rescue. Or possible the king will forgive him. Somehow Eddard will survive. But as we find out not every story has a fairy tale ending. George R. R. Martin has a heart of stone, although fans of the frequently-killed-in-action actor Sean Bean may have had a chance of seeing this one coming.
8. Daenerys and Viserys: Sibling Arch-Rivalry, One-Sided Romance
Brother and sister Viserys and Daenerys Targaryen have fled Westeros following the murder of their father Aerys II Targaryen (aka “The Mad King.”) During the pilot episode of “Game of Thrones” we realize that Viserys has given up his own sister for marriage to the barbarian king Khal Drogo, in the hopes of leading Drogo’s army back across the Narrow Sea and reclaiming the throne from Robert Baratheon.
If pimping out his own sister weren’t reprehensible enough, just take a gander at how Viserys looks at her and treats her in this clip. It’s hard to tell if he’s more eager to deflower her himself or offer her up as Horse King bait. Seriously, I know HBO had a hit with “Entourage,” but I think they may be pushing this “unlikable lead character” thing a bit far.
9. Theon Makes a Pass at His Sister
To be fair, Theon Greyjoy was taken from the Iron Islands at a young age and wouldn’t have had much of a shot at picking his sister out of a line-up if his most prized possession depended on it (too bad that wasn’t an option when it came down to him being loosed of said possession).
Still, when Yara (who is equally to blame in not revealing her identity to her fresh-off-the-boat brother) offers Theon a ride that he tries to turn into “a ride”, shades of Lanister siblings left many cringing at the places Theon’s hands found themselves.
10. Khaleesi Eats a Horse Heart
During her time as Khaleesi in the capital city of Vaes Dothrak, Daenerys Targaryen is pregnant with the heir to the throne. Thus, she’s expected to participate in some rather ghastly, primitive pregnancy rituals. One in particular involves eating – and not throwing up – an entire horse’s heart. Because then you absorb all that horse’s valuable essence, or something, I suppose? That kid’s gonna be born with more horsepower, and possibly greater torque. Khaleesi also decides during the ceremony that her baby will be named Rhaego, which is a shame, because Pete Khal really does have a nice ring to it.
Plus, ew, horsemeat, am I right?
11. Viserys Targaryen Gets Crowned
We’ve all been there. Your people are throwing you and your new wife a lovely little get-together, when your brother-in-law stumbles in, drunk, and ruins the whole scene. Khal Drogo reacts… perhaps a bit more harshly than most. He pours molten gold over the guys’ head, a cruel play on his promise to one day see him “crowned” as King of the Westeros. (Funny thing about those Dothraki… they love irony.) Viserys’ sister – the Khaleesi – is there to witness the whole thing, but she’s not really bothered. Honestly, he was becoming kind of a pain, always “I am the dragon” this and “have sex with this brutal warload to secure my future kingdom” that. Who needs it?
12. Jaime’s Plan to Be the King’s Right Hand Man Is Cut Short
We all know by now that Jaime Lannister is a smooth-talking guy (I mean, he DID convince his married sister to have sex with him), and when he and Brienne were captured by Vargo Hoat and his men on the trek back to King’s Landing, it seemed- if only for a moment- that he and his protector would be spared any harm…until good ole Vargo cut off his hand.
Cut. Off. His. Hand.
We get plenty of exposure to the stump as the rest of season 3 unfolds, but the first glimpse of Jaime’s hand separating from the bloody stump where it used to be attached is easily one of the more haunting images of the season.
13. The Arrival of Theon Greyjoy’s Favorite Toy aka the Dick in a Box Scene
While it was alluded to previously, this was the instant that we learned with certainty that Theon Greyjoy had, in fact, been relieved of his biggest male part…because Yara, his sister, opened a box containing it.
Not that ANY form of torture is better than another, but the revelation that Theon is now as much of a man as his sister (which I suppose he can take a little solace in considering she comes off as a bit of a bruiser). Fact remains: Yara could be the first person ever to get a disappointing dick in a box.
14. Loras and Renly Shave and Scheme
Nothing is more uncomfortable than a guy shaving another guy’s chest while they discuss some poor kid with his eye dangling out of its socket. Chest-shaving time should be relaxing time, not another excuse for “Game of Thrones” trademark over-the-top heart-chomping gore! Still, we were on the edge of our seats when Loras Tyrell used sharp blade and sharper tongue to convince Renly Baratheon to make a grab for the throne.